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Alt skrevet av Mr.TransAm
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Hei alle små og store på bilforumet! :D Lager en egen tråd her for humoristiske innslag. Jeg skal legge inn nye bilder HVER FREDAG, men også på andre dager hvis jeg finner noe/føler for det Her inkluderer vi filmer, bilder, audio og evt andre artige innslag! Forsøk å hold det så bilrelatert som mulig, så denne tråden kan leve litt lengre enn ti minutter her inne! De som har hjerteproblemer med ønske om å leve lenge bør ikke lese denne tråden!:D (fornøyd nå VCE?;)) Starter med en muslimsk burnout! :D http://www.webpark.ru/comments.php?id=14551 :D
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http://www.vg.no/pub/vgart.hbs?artid=129568 Jeeeyy..
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:respect :respect
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Å herregud nå lo jeg! Utrolig bra!! :D:D:D:D !!!!
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Kanskje litt! :D Vurderer å sette opp en komitråd. Har en lignende en på et annet forum og det har vært mye bra latter der inne... :hello:
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Azzido er fotgjenger han :D:hello: :tannløs: :tannløs:
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Hei søte snille mods! Det blir laget veldig mange tråder på carspotting om dagen, og jeg blar igjennom alle sammen i håp om noe fett å se. Kunne det ikke vært en idè å lage en regel slik at man må presisere i tittelen om det er bilde av bilen i åpningsinnlegget? Eks: Skyline spottet i Arendal (Bilde) Eks: Skyline spottet i Arendal (ikke bilde) Dette kan gjøre det litt mer brukervennlig på forumet. Mvh Mr.Transam
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Er det din skyline som stod utafor saga?
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Men for å ikke være helt dust mot karen: Det er vel ikke så mye du kan gjøre med dette. Altså alle går på noen smeller i livet. Det er bare slik det er. Det du kan gjøre nå er feks å spare opp litt penger og så sette noen bildrømmer til verks når du får lappen igjen. Hvordan mistet du den forresten?
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Hehe.. venta på den:op: :op: :hammer :hammer
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Takk! Er det mulig for normale "dødelige" og endre tittel forresten? ( slett dette innlegget etter svar så vi slipper unødvendig posting)
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You Might Have Too Much Horsepower If.... 1. You can't drive your car in the rain 2. Your significant other refuses to ride in the car 3. You are afraid to drive your car 4. You spend more money on tires than on food 5. You look in a highway patrol car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash 6. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you 7. You're tempted to wear your firesuit just to drive to the office 8. You remove the $2,000 stereo to save 6 lbs. of weight 9. You get pulled over for doing 155 mph, but the cops will let you off if they can "look under the hood" 10. You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge 11. Your face looks like you are riding in a NASA centrifuge when you let out the clutch (YEAH! now that's what I'm talking about!!) 12. You pop the parachute on the way to get milk and bread 13. Fuel is delivered to your house -- in 55 gallon drums 14. You discover that outside mirrors and windshield trim can tear away at 145 mph 15. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers. 16. You spend more on car insurance than on your house payments. 17. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper. 18. You arrive somewhere before you left. 19. You carry earplugs in your car. 20. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6am. 21. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. 22. And finally... your fuel pump flows enough to water the local golf course
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You Might be a "RICER" if: 1. You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower. 2. You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels. 3. Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque. 4. You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car. 5. You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission 6. DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for. 7. Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts. 8. A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme. 9. Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side. 10. The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months... 11. Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1". 12. You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender. 13. You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them. 14. You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system. 15. Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear... 16. Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling." 17. You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs. 18. You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings. 19. Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light... 20. The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up. 21. You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds! 22. You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot. 23. You install clear corner and brake lights. 24. You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses. 25. You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over. 26. If your rear spoiler is taller then you are. 27. You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE! 28. If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet. 29. Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings. 30. You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang 31. You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system. 32. You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette. 33. If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does. 34. You think the Del Sol is a sports car... 35. You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance 36. If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque 37. If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP. 38. If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights. 39. If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T. 40. Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive. 41. You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai... 42. MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast. 43. The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and rods in other people's eyes. 44. If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect. 45. If you have installed driving lights to compensate for headlight blackouts / tape. 46. If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a modified engine. 47. If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out if asked where those parts are installed. 48. You think pushrods are a bad thing 49. Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds. 50. You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that everytime you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts. 51. You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche. 52. If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading. 53. You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine. 54. If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand 55. If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter... 56. If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ... 57. If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club... 58. You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp. 59. You have neon INSIDE your car or in your ENGINE compartment 60. You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s. 61. You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool 62. If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators 63. If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers 64. If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater™ 65. If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate dual exhaust is cool 66. If you think colored head lights work better 67. Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON! 68. If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it. 69. You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car. 70. You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him. 71. You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice.. 72. Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory. 73. after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner. 74. you are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate." 75. you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and hard to get into." 76. You have to park your car across the road from your house because theres a little bump in ur driveway 77. You use your neibors driveway because yours is stone And the Number One reason you might be a ricer if... (drum roll)... you use the expression "nos" to describe Nitrous Oxide on your car.
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Oil Change instructions for Women: 1)Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2)Drink a cup of coffee. 3)15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $1.00 Total $21.00 Oil Change instructions for Men: 1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00. 2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home. 3) Open a beer and drink it. 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7) Place drain pan under engine. 8 ) Look for 9/16 boxend wrench. 9) Give up and use crescent wrench. 10) Unscrew drain plug. 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in process. Cuss. 12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil. 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain. 14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench. 15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off. 16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trashcan to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer. 17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work. 18 ) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to recycle. 19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. 20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday. 21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer. 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. 23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. 24) Remember drain plug from step 11. 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. 26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug. 27) Drink beer. 28 ) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawn mower gas. 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill. 30) Drink beer. 31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame. 32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31. 33) Begin cussing fit. 34) Throw stupid crescent wrench. 35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss August (2002)in the left boob. 36) Beer. 37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow. 38 ) Beer. 39) Beer. 40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. 41) Beer. 42) Lower car from jack stands. 43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil. 44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23-43. 45) Beer. 46) Test drive car. 47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. 48 ) Car gets impounded. 49) Call loving wife, make bail. 50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard. Money spent: Parts $50.00 DUI $2500.00 Impound fee $75.00 Bail $1500.00 Beer $40.00 Total-- $4165.00 But at least you know the job was done right !
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What Not To Say To A Cop 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job! 5. Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. I was going to be a trooper, but I decided to finish high school instead. 8. Bad cop! No donut! 9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 10. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. 11. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand. 12. Is it true that people become troopers because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's? 13. I pay your salary! 14. So, uh, you on the take, or what? 15. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 16. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 17. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are. 18. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist. 19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control. 20. Hey, is that a 9 mm? How's that compare to this one here? 21. Officer: Your eyes are red, have you been drinking? Driver: Your eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts? 22. Your so-called "speed limits" mean nothing to me flatfoot. I live my life one quarter-mile at a time. 23. You again? I thought I lost you at that last red light. 24. Aren't you going to strip search me, big boy? 25. You better hurry up with that ticket. Dunkin' Donuts closes in 15 minutes. 26. How about you watch my friend Ben Franklin while I get my registration? 27. Sorry I was speeding officer, but your daughter said she had to be home by eleven. 28. Hey Barney! How are things in Mayberry? 29. Say Hi to your wife and my kids!
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Ja, der klarte jeg jo selvfølgelig å få med bildeteksten i tittelen... doh!
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vel, hvis du siktet til mustangen, så nei... var egentlig bare en drømmegarasje jeg ville vise!:D
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